It has come to my attention that my cousin, Jerry Baltes, the oldest of my cousins had a illustrious career as a drag racer and is in the drag racing hall of fame. He was the first to exceed 200 mph in the quarter mile. At the time Jerry lived in San Diego, California. He raced during the days of "Daddy Don Garlitz". I remember seeing a contemporary of Jerrys, Tommy Ivo, race here in the Twin Cities, he had a dragster with twin V-8 engines. For the rest of story follow this link::
http://www.nitrogeezers.com/Legends%20-%20Jerry%20Baltes.htm
Some more jokes...........
This bear goes into a bar in Butte, Montana and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve beer to bears in Butte bars!" The bear gets a little
excited and says, forcefully, "Look! I want a beer and I want it NOW!" The bartender says, "I told you, we don't sell beer to belligerent bears in Butte bars. Now, GIT!" The bear says, "Do you want a hit in the head? Give me a beer!" The bartender says, with his nose in the air, "We definitely don't sell beer to belligerent bully bears in Butte bars!" The bear says, "If you don't give me a beer I'm going over to the end of the bar and eat that blonde sitting there." "Well, we certainly
don't sell beer to belligerent, bully, bragging bears in Butte bars." The bear proceeds to go to the end of the bar and eats the blonde. He comes back and says,
"Now will you give me a beer?" The bartender replies, "Well, we're certainly NOT going to sell beer to belligerent, bully, bragging bears in Butte bars who
are on drugs!" The bear says, "Who's on drugs?" The bartender says, "You are. That was the barbituate!
Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the records were destroyed in a fire. Thus, we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"
Back in the 1800's the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products. Since they already made the cases for pocket watches, they decided to make compasses for the pioneers traveling west It turned out that although their watches were the finest quality, their compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California or Oregon. This of course, is the origin of the expression, "He who has a Tates is lost!"
A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory equipment. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."
An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk hide and gave it to the chief, instructing him to bite off, chew and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."
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