0-60 in 5.2 seconds

I took a drive in my Mazda the other day and I apparently accelerated to fast for Fido.

It took several hours to extricate him from the vehicle. After it was all over he complained of some back pain and a bad case of diarhea.

I can live with his back pain but the diarhea is intolerable.


TEST YOUR DRIVING SKILLS HERE: http://www.107.peugeot.co.uk/peugeot.swf


I finally ran out of "Questions to Ponder" so today we move onward and upward to:

PROFOUND SAYINGS

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A backward poet writes inverse.
A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Practice safe eating, Always use Condiments.
A Shotgun wedding is a case of wife or death.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is a form of floor play.
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
A legally drawn will is a dead give-away.
In democracy your vote counts; in feudalism your count votes.
A chicken crossing a road is poultry in motion.
If you don’t pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
Local Area Network in Austral is: the LAN down under.
Women should not have children after 35. Really...35 children are enough
Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys.
After all is said and done, more is said than done.
I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
“No one ever says “It’s only a game,” when their team is winning.”
I gave my son a hint. On his room door I put a sign: “CHECKOUT TIME IS 18”
Why is it that most nudists are people you don’t want to see naked?
I just got back from a pleasure trip - I drove my wife to the airport!
My wife and I were happy for twenty years ....then we met.
Home is where you can say anything you like because nobody listens to you anyway.
“I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said, ‘Thyroid problem?’”
Regular naps prevent old age..... especially if you take them while driving.
I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers.”
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
When an actress saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she’d dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.



Until Next Time