Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Instigator (n.) do-it-yourself reptile kit. Just add water.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
IRS - They have what it takes to take what you've got
Innuendo (n.) an Italian Suppository
Inoculate: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Laughingstock (n.) an amused herd of cattle.
Left Bank \left' bangk'\ - What the robber did when his bag was full of loot
Lottery - A tax on people who are bad at math
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Mazel tov cocktail - a Jewish hand grenade
Misty \mis'-tee\ - How golfers create divots
Mortar (n.) what tobacco companies add to cigarettes.
Marionettes (n.), residents of Washington, DC who have been jerked around by the mayor.
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit)
Paradox \par'-uh-doks\ - Two physicians
Parasites \par'-uh-sites\ - What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
Pharmacist \farm'-uh-sist\ - A helper on the farm
Polarize \po'-lur-ize\ - What penguins see with
Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist
Prefix (n.) the act of completely breaking a partially broken object before calling a professional.
Primate \pri'-mat\ - Removing your spouse from in front of the TV
Relief \ree-leef'\ - What trees do in the spring
Rubberneck \rub'-er-nek\ - What you do to relax your wife
Rectitude (n.), the formal dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Reincarnation (n.) the belief that you’ll come back as a flower.
Reintarnation (n.) Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.
Specimen - Italian Astronaut
Semantics (n.), pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together just before vespers.
Seamstress \seem'-stres\ - Describes 250 pounds in a size six dress
Selfish \sel'-fish\ - What the owner of a seafood store does
Subdued \sub-dood'\ - Like, a guy, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man
Sudafed \sood'-a-fed\ - Bringing litigation against a government official
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
1 comment:
Good ones!
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