"Sealed With A Kiss"

Time to move on. Here are a few shots of Alaskan Seals, followed by a whole new category of jokes.











A doctor went to the same bar every night and ordered the same drink; an almond daiquiri. One night the bartender ran out of almonds and replaced them with hickory nuts. The doctor tasted it and exclaimed “what the hell is this?” Bartender: That’s a hickory daiquiri dock.

Mahatma Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He also was quite a spiritual person. Even when he was not on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. Furthermore, due to his diet, he wound up with very bad breath. Therefore he came to be known as "a super-calloused, fragile mystic plagued with halitosis"

NASA recently sent a number of Holsteins into orbit for experimental purposes. They called it “the herd shot round the world.”

Eskimos in a kayak were chilly, so they started a fire, which sank the craft, proving the old adage “you can’t have your kayak and heat it to.”

There was a chess convention at the Biltmore Hotel and during a break all the participants were standing in the lobby having drinks and bragging about how good they were at chess. Because there were so many of them they were blocking other guests from coming and going. Seeing this the manager of the hotel told them that he "could not have all these chess nuts boasting in his open foyer"

A guy finds himself in heaven, and after a few days asks St. Peter if he could go back to earth. After much arguing Peter finally agrees but tells him there are two requirements, (1) He must carry his harp with him at all times, and (2) He must be back within 48 hours. The guy takes his harp and heads back to earth where he looks up an old friend Sam Frank who happens to own a nightclub in San Francisco. He has a wonderful time and forgets about the time, eventually he realizes his time is just about up, so he hurries back to heaven only to arrive 10 minutes late. St. Peter angrily reprimands him for being late and asks him where his harp is. The man replies: Oh my, I left my harp in Sam Franks Disco.

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

Some retarded children went out singing Christmas carols at a nursing home, afterwards they were each given a bottle of Tab and an Apple, they went on to become known as the Moron Tab & Apple Choir.

Until next time........