A Polish gentleman goes into a store and asks for some kielbasa sausage.  The store owner say's "what are you a Pollock?  The man says "just because I order kielbasa doesn't necessarily mean I'm Polish, what if I ordered a pizza would you assume that I was Italian, or if I ordered egg rolls that I was Chinese?  No, said the store owner, the reason I thought you were a Pollock is that this is a hardware store!

A guy shows up in the doctors office with a couple of stocks of celery stuffed up his nose, carrots stuck in his ears and tapioca pudding spread out on the top of his head.  

The doctor took one look at him and said:  I see what your problem is, your not eating right!