Full Knee Replacement

I can finally talk about my total knee replacement surgery which I had done on the 30th of March 2011.  The first week post op was just terrible, a pulsating constant pain in my leg made thinking about anything but my knee impossible Finding a comfortable position while sitting, laying in bed or standing was next to impossible. Thank God I had one of the premiere doctors in the country as my surgeon, he was one of the pioneers of hip and knee replacement surgery. That and the fact that I was full of Percoset, full to the point where I was much loopier than normal, has gotten me to today almost 3 weeks post op and feeling much better. I am told by many who have had the surgery I will be happy I had it done when it's all said and done.  I was going to include some photographs of the surgery but they were just to gross to look at. Thanks to those of you who prayed on my behalf. God is Good.

A man goes to the doctor. The man has a strawberry growing out of his head. The doctor says, "Let me give you some cream to put on that."

Doctor, you've got to help me; I can't stop thinking I'm a goat.

I see. And how long have you had this problem?

Ever since I was a kid.

A woman goes into the dentists office and says, "I think I'd just as soon have a baby as get a tooth pulled."

The dentist says, Make up your mind. I have to adjust the chair."

"Doctor the invisible man is in your waiting room." "Tell him I can't see him right now."

"Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." 

"Come now, pull yourself together."

Patient: Doctor, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm.

Doctor: Are you taking anything for it?

Patient: Yes, gound pepper.

Doctor, I can't feel my legs!

That's because we had to amputate your arms.

A guy goes into a doctors office wearing nothing but s piece of Saran wrap around his waist. The doctor say's, "I can clearly see you're nuts."

"Hello, doctor?"

"Yes?"

"My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?"

"No, this is her husband!"