What Was Hidden Will Be Revealed!

I have recently had a request from my favorite brother in law Mike (pictured here with his lovely wife Carolyn) to share some of my experiences such as the time Michael Jackson and I had lunch together at McDonald's in Burbank. At the time Michael was a Cub Scout and was up to two packs a day. Or the time Justin Beiber and I sang at the White house for President Bush.  These stories along with many others will be featured for the first time here in the blog.

The following will give you an idea of the various positions I have held since retiring from 3M.

After leaving 3M I took a job in the Hayward Wisconsin area as a lumberjack but after just 3 days... they gave me the ax.

I worked in a orange juice factory, but. . . . I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

After that I tried to be a tailor....but I just wasn't suited for it. It was a so-so job anyway.

Right after that I took a job as a seamstress but .... I couldn't mend straight!

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but... that was to exhausting.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but ...any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I ...didn't have any patients.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I... couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool-maintenance company, but the work was ...just too draining.

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because... I wasn't up to it.

Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but after a few short days... I was discharged.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized... there was no future in it.

I tried working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because ...it was always the same old grind everyday.

I went on to work for the Highway Department building new roads but I... just couldn't make the grade.

Then in 1998 I broke into show biz, I got a job with Ringling Brothers Circus as the "Human Cannonball", after just two hours of training... they fired me. They said they were... looking for a higher caliber person.

I then worked for a short time as a taxidermist but my customers told me I didn't have... the right stuff.

I applied for a job as a banker but they said I didn't... fill the bill.

Then I landed a good job with the Campbell Soup Company but... they canned me.

I tried my luck at being a computer programmer but.... I just couldn't hack it.

In desperation I tried my hand at watch repair business but ...my timing was all wrong.

I then decided to write a cookbook but... the critics panned it.

Finally I landed a good job with a company that made global positioning devices... but they told me to get lost.

I tried working as a commercial artist but... I had no experience to draw on.

I moved on to a good job at Victoria's Secret but after just a week they... gave me a pink slip.

I tried a job as a lighting salesman but they told me... I just wasn't bright enough.

I then tried to become a golf pro but I ...just couldn't get into the swing of it.

A good friend wanted me to become a Optometrist but I ... couldn't see it.

I went on to work as a Kirby vacuum cleaner salesman but... the job really sucked.

For a brief period I worked as a grave digger but... I was soon buried by the competition.

I tried to get a loan to start a peanut farm but the banker told me... I was nuts!

After a few weeks I went to work for a casino at the Black Jack tables but.... that wasn't a good deal at all.

I briefly worked for the Automobile Association of America (AAA) putting together trip tiks but.... they told me to hit the road.

I then tried my hand at being a carpenter but left because ...I got board.

I went on to work for a violin maker but.... they were just stringing me along.

I became a Boy Scout leader but on the first camp out ... they told me to take a hike.

I became a Jewish Rabbi after studying at the Beth Shalom Rabbinical institute but then... I discovered how small the tips were and I left the ministry!

I went from being a Rabbi to working in a boomerang factory, after my first day they told me to... leave and never come back!

I worked in a glue factory but ....I.couldn't stick with it!

I worked for a gastroenterologist but... I couldn't stomach it.

Then I studied to become a cardiologist but... my heart wasn't in it.

I started a glass repair business but ...I just couldn't get a break.

I worked as a exterminator but... my boss bugged me

I sold illegally manufactured "Wonder Bra's" but ....I got busted.

I then decided to go to Alaska in search of gold, as you might have guessed.... that didn't pan out either.

I went back to 3M and became a sales rep for the new line of penal implants but the competition was just to stiff.

I worked at a sperm bank but.... I was discharged immediately !

The only stable job I ever had was working at a ranch in Montana!

Last week I applied for a job as a flight attendant but that job is ...still up in the air.

I am currently working for the Macy’s Department Store chain as a rest room attend and they... won't let me go!

To make matters worse I recently went to the doctor and he informed me that I had a rare blood disease and that I only had two months to live. I told him I would like a second opinion. He said, all right, you're ugly too!